Are You A People Pleaser??

WHY YOU MAY IDENTIFY AS A PEOPLE-PLEASER

YOU WANT TO AVOID CONFLICT
It usually feels easier to go along with what others say. You may find yourself avoiding confrontation with others so you can make them happy or you agree with what they say, even if you feel otherwise. If you avoid conflict by appeasing everyone, you will likely bottle up resentment.

YOU FEAR REJECTION
Most people have a fear of rejection. It could be fear of rejection from a job or from another person. If you are worried that you may get rejected, you will try to avoid it at all costs.

YOU FEAR DISAPPOINTING OTHERS
No one wants to hear they are a disappointment to others. But we can’t please everyone.

YOU MAY HOPE FOR SOMETHING IN RETURN
It’s possible you go above and beyond for your friends and family, expecting to receive the same care and attention in return. But not everyone is capable of giving as much time, attention, gifts, or love as another. You may feel you put in much more energy and effort into your relationships than others, and that no one truly cares about you as much as you do about them. But this is not necessarily the case.

YOU WOULD LIKE OTHERS TO BE NICE TO YOU
You feel if you are nice to others, everyone will be nice to you in return. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. You never know what is going on inside other people’s heads. Even though you’re nice to someone, it doesn’t mean that they will be in the right mood to return the nice feelings.

YOU ARE GENUINELY COMPASSIONATE
This is the most common cause behind being a people-pleaser. It is great to be a genuine person who has a lot of empathy for others. It means you care deeply about everyone around you. Usually, if you fall into this category, you find that you are not taking care of YOU. You get lost in taking care of everyone else, so you forget about your own self-care; it is last on your to-do list.

YOU DON’T WANT TO FEEL GUILTY FOR SAYING ‘NO’
Saying “no” is hard for people who are people-pleasers. You have a hard time creating boundaries and knowing your limits. You are so focused on pleasing everyone else that you will say “yes” without thought. It’s important to know your limits and when to say “no”.

YOU MAY LACK SELF-LOVE
This is the most neglected part for people-pleasers. They are always ready to lend a hand or be there for someone else. But when it comes down to it, they are not there for themselves. People-pleasers are usually great listeners and give the best advice. But they struggle with accepting this same advice for themselves.

If you find you match any of these characteristics of a people pleaser, you may wish to take a step back and analyze your self-care. By taking care of yourself, you will be better equipped to establish boundaries between you and others, and thus learn how to say ‘no’.