Article from: aconsciousrethink.com
Love is…
How to finish that sentence?
Philosophers, poets, lyricists, and a trillion others have tried their best to define, gauge, and otherwise quantify love throughout human history. We’re still waiting for a consensus.
We know that love is real… and we have likely felt the ‘feelings’ of love, but let’s consider all of the little ways in which our love for another is shown through a series of choices that we actively make.
1. Love is often selfless.
Sometimes we act in ways we might not otherwise act – all in the name of love. We put a loved one first now and again. We compromise. We make sacrifices in order to bring a smile to their face.
A parent does these things on a daily basis because they love their child and want what’s best for them.
A partner, too, will often do these things because they wish to help their partner through difficult times, and to see them thrive and grow.
Selflessness is a key component of true love; it shows that a conscious choice has to be made.
2. Love is forgiving.
Even our loved ones – especiallyour loved ones – will upset us from time to time. At which point, one of the options available to you is forgiveness.
But forgiving someoneis a process that requires work and effort, especially when the hurt is great.
You have to actively choose to go through that process. And by making that choice, you are expressing your love for that person.
You are saying that they are worth the effort to forgive.
3. You choose who you keep in your life.
While you may not be able to choose your blood relatives, you can decide whether you want them to be a part of your life.
And your wider circle of friends is definitely one that you choose to maintain because you value their contribution to your existence.
Truly loving relationships of all kinds take work to keep going. As we journey through life, we have to let some relationships wither and die in order for others to grow and blossom.
Sometimes we even have to let go of deeply loving friendships – perhaps letting them become mere acquaintances or else saying goodbye forever.
We may not always be aware that we are making these decisions, but they are made nonetheless.
4. Love can still have boundaries.
There are certain things we will accept from others, and other things we will not.
And some things we will accept from one person, but not from another.
We may feel different types of lovefor different people and will set boundariesbased on this.
You may require a level of privacy from your parents; a point at which you will not share certain information with them. But you still love them.
Yet with a partner, you may divulge far more of what is going on inside your head or your heart. You may let them catch a glimpse of the raw soul underneath it all.
You love both parties, but you choose what you are willing to do or allow for that love.
5. Love remains even during emotional turmoil.
Life events can cause a storm of emotion at any time.
A loss leads to sadness and anguish.
A bad day at work leads to anger or frustration.
An argument with a friend leads to anxiety and regret.
At these times, the warm and fuzzy feelings you have toward a person may be utterly overwhelmed and suppressed. But you still turn to them for help and support.
You choose to find comfort in their warm embrace and share your troubles with them where necessary. You trust that they will be there and that they will accept you as you currently are.
6. Love looks for the good.
All relationships are hard, whatever form they take.
When you love someone, you try to see the good in them as often as possible, even when they are making that difficult to do. Our partners, family, and friends will all do things that we find annoying or that we wish they wouldn’t do.
Sometimes our minds dwell on these things, but just as often we decide to look past a person’s failings and remind ourselves of all their virtues too.
We don’t have to do that, but we choose to because we love them and we would want them to do the same to us.
7. Love is a commitment.
Whether by marriage vows, living together, sharing bank accounts, or having a family, love is two people declaring that they are dedicated and loyal to one another.
This is the ultimate choice of love: to forge and maintain a bond over time and in the face of the inevitable trials and tribulations of life.
Such a commitment cannot be made through feeling alone. It has to come from the rational thought of two people.